52 days left

In 52 days I will sit in the air plane.
In 52 days I will left my family and my friends for a year.
I mean.. how is this even possible. How can I leave my home for an entire year?
How can I live in a family I barely know?

At the one hand I am so freaking happy about it, I mean I will discover a completely new country, a completely new city and a new school with new people in it. And EVERYTHING is new.
Because it's new I am afraid it.
I am afraid of leaving everything that matters behind. for. a. YEAR. 
And today I can't imagine that this happen to me.

Sometimes, when I sit in school or at home I think about the fact, that in 6 months from now I will sit in Ecuador and it will be normal for me. And I (hope I) will understand the teacher and my host family and it will be normal to eat breakfast together or stuff like that. It's strange, isn't it?

I am not ready to leave.
I graduated the 10th grade and so I have a school leaving certificate and in the last weeks I think about the fact, that I could be ready with school in a few weeks. And than, that I won't be ready to life alone or have a job for the rest of my life.
And it's the same with the exchange year, cause there it's like to life "alone" in a new house, new city, new family, to be completely responsible for myself the first time.
But also it's like I can't wait to sit in the air plane and meet my host family for the first time in real life and to learn everything about them and about Ambato (my host town) and the culture there...

Sooooo I am a little bit confused about myself xD, happy and sad at the same time, but I think it's normal for an exchange student...

The countdown is running.


PS: Maybe you could leave a comment. Thanks.


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